#homemade laundry detergent

[northbirdblog]

Easy Recipe to Make Your Own Laundry Detergent!

Costs next to nothing, and does a wonderful job leaving your clothes clean and fresh!

[everydayhalfling]

Reasons to make your own laundry detergent:

Save money!

Decrease your plastic consumption!

Control what is going into your detergent!

Recipe and the financial break down are under the cut:

HOMEMADE LAUNDRY DETERGENT 1 bar Fels Naptha (or similar) soap 1C Washing Soda (165g) 1C Borax (165g) 5Ga Water (19L)

Grate the soap bar. Heat one gallon (3.8L) of water on medium-low. Add the grated soap bar and stir. Allow the soap to completely melt. Add the washing soda and the borax, stir. Allow mixture to simmer until ingredients are dissolved. Pour the soap mixture into a five gallon container. Add the remaining water. Use only hot water for this, to prevent soap from congealing. Stir the detergent well and you're done!

THE FINANCIAL BREAKDOWN* Initial costs: $1.25 Fels Naptha $15.00 Washing soda, 1 box (55oz) $9.00 Borax, 1 box (65oz) $25.25 TOTAL

5 Gallons of Detergent: $1.25 Fels Naptha $2.18 Washing Soda $1.11 Borax $4.54 TOTAL

*At the time of posting, 2022/12/12; American Dollars

[k2bmore]

Homemade Laundry Detergent

[mitchismirage]

Making Laundry Soap

Whew! What a busy day I had today! My first item on my to do list was to take a trip to Bulk Apothecary to pick up supplies I had ordered yesterday. I then stopped for a quick bite to eat at Subway and then stopped at the nursing home to visit my mom. After returning home I made the video below about making homemade liquid laundry detergent. While making the video my son called to ask if I wanted…

[shslcoeval]

Homemade Laundry Detergent

[wolflover33100aj]

Me: *freaking out because I might be having an allergic reaction to something*

Me: *trying to take a picture of the bumps and the red spots from itching to show my mom*

My phone: There's not enough storage on your phone to take a picture!

Me: Okay, wow! Fuck you too then-

[thevermingod]

been getting tired of having to pay so much for food and started making a lot of my own from scratch. So far Ive perfected most pastries, breads, butter, Ice cream, vanilla, and just general stuff. Ive started growing herbs too.

 Honestly if my town allowed it I’d probably have chickens cause eggs are so much, but like apparently there’s a ban on them. Right now Im trying to convince my fam to get a quail for eggs.

[yuujispinkhair]

Yuuji cooking for you

Just a little something I had to write after seeing the new episode! Coming home to Yuuji, who is cooking for you and being happy and safe, is such a dream to me!!

Pairing: Yuuji x Reader (gender-neutral) Genre: fluff Word Count: 500 Warnings: None, just fluff and kissing. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact.

The delicious smell of a homemade meal wafts through the apartment when you get home. You smile as you kick off your shoes and quickly walk over to the kitchen, already knowing what sight will greet you.

And, of course, you are right. Yuuji is standing at the stove with his broad back to you, stirring a large pot. The sleeves of his hoodie are pushed up to reveal his muscular tan forearms. The red apron you got him for his birthday two years ago is fastened with a sloppy bow at the back of his neck, right beneath his undercut.

You walk up behind your boyfriend and wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly from behind, nuzzling your face against his muscular back, breathing in deeply to inhale the scent of home: The traces of laundry detergent on Yuuji's hoodie, his cologne, his cherry blossom hairspray, the smell of his homemade food clinging to his clothes. That warm scent that smells like love incarnate to you.

You can hear the smile in your voice when you ask,

"What are you cooking, baby?"

Yuuji chuckles, turning his head to smile at you, giving you a chance to get on your tip toes and press a quick but gentle kiss to his smiling lips.

Warm golden eyes sparkle happily at you when your boyfriend answers,

"I saw something super yummy on the Food Channel earlier today and wanted to try it. It'll be ready in a few minutes."

"It smells delicious! I can't wait to try it!"

Yuuji laughs, and his left hand comes to rest atop yours, where you caress his abs through his hoodie. He gives it a gentle squeeze before he interlaces his fingers with yours while his other hand keeps stirring the pot.

You sigh happily as you snuggle against him. You love those sweet domestic moments with Yuuji. Coming home to him, hugging him while he is cooking, and afterward eating together.

Sometimes right there in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and opening your mouth to let Yuuji feed you spoonfuls of the delicious meal he prepared. Sometimes at the dinner table, while the two of you talk about your day and the plans for the rest of the week. Sometimes on the couch while leaning on each other and watching a movie in comfortable silence.

"Can I help with something, Yuu?"

He shakes his head and puts the wooden spoon on the kitchen counter,

"Nah, it's done. It just has to simmer for a few more minutes."

You smile at him when Yuuji gently wiggles out of your hug so he can turn around to look at you. There's a big boyish grin on his handsome face and a mischievous sparkle in those golden eyes when he adds,

"But on the other hand, there is something you can do, cutie."

He points at the embroidered 'Kiss the Cook' logo on the front of his apron while the corners of his lips twitch. A moment later, he breaks out in laughter. And you join him, laughing as you lunge at him, and throw your arms around him at the same moment his strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you against him.

Your eyes close when your mouth brushes against Yuuji's, and you capture his lips in a tender kiss, kissing that cute, loud laughter off his lips.

He makes me so happy!! I hope reading this gave you comfort too! Comments and reblogs would be sweet.

[poorlywrittenbutentertaining]

Caring for a Duckling

Gibbs x Fem!oc

warnings: medical stuff, and boats... i guess?

summary: Gibbs is volunteered to care for Elaine after her concussion.

The sun splotched across Elaine’s face as her brain pulsated in her skull, splitting pains shooting down her spine. She attempted to open her eyes only to be met by a fresh spike of pain in the back of her head. She squinted against the light and tried to focus on her unfamiliar surroundings. The sheets she layed under were not her usual bamboo thread, but a homely, soft, cotton. The room she was in was unfamiliar. It was scarcely decorated, with what looked like quality, hand built furniture. She pulled the sheets from her body and looked down to find herself not in her scrubs, but a large, worn tee shirt and a pair of far oversized basketball shorts. Her brain scrambled to remember the events of the previous night, but it was like trying to collect water in a sieve.

Memory came in short, blurry flashes. A red hoodie here, a gurney there, and an old truck. Like watching a brief slideshow of her own evening. She didn’t remember drinking, let alone leaving her apartment. She rubbed her forehead, to be met with the soft scratch of gauze. Right, she had been hit in the head, hard. She began running a mental checklist.

Pain: moderately high

Memory loss sustained

Blunt force wound to the back of the head

Vision mildly blurry 

Delirium: no

Nausea: mild 

She sighed and looked out the window. She was greeted with a view of a small, well maintained garden. A face flashed through her head. Gibbs. She had been on the phone with him and he had been there when she woke up.

The door creaked lightly on its hinges and Elaine twisted towards the sound. Gibbs stood in the threshold holding a tall glass of water and some medicine.

“I was gonna leave these, but I guess you’re awake,” Gibbs said, “how are you feeling?”

“Bad,” Elaine answered honestly. Gibbs nodded and entered the room. He walked by her and placed the items on the carved bedside table, “you came to my house.”

“I did. I heard some commotion and came to check,” Gibbs shrugged.

“How did you get in?” Elaine asked.

“Same way the petty officer did. He broke your lock.”

“Oh…” At that moment something Dawned on Elaine, “did you change my clothes?!”

Gibbs chuckled, “no, you woke up and raided my closet before passing out again.”

“Ah,” Elaine nodded. She leaned her head into her hands and let out a long sigh, “what a nightmare.”

“Here, take these,” Gibbs held the pills and water in front of her, “it’ll help the pain.”

Elaine took the medicine, “I’m a doctor, gunny, I know what Tylenol does.” She quickly swallowed the pills dry and then took a few long gulps of the water. Gibbs gave a half smile and nodded.

“S’pose you do, doc.”

“Well I’m fine now, you can take me home,” Elaine moved to stand, ignoring the pounding in her head.

“Na-ah-ah,” Gibbs grabbed her upper arm, “I told Ducky I’d watch you today.”

“I’m a doctor, I can take care of myself.”

“Notorious fact that doctors make the worst patients.”

“And how would you know that, Gunny?” Elaine sassed.

“Because Ducky said so,” Gibbs' voice was even, he moved in close to her and Elaine felt her heart stammer for a moment, “now lay down.”

“Fine, fine,” Elaine put her hands up. Jethro released her arm and lifted the sheets for her, “I can get myself into bed.”

“I know.” 

Elaine rolled her eyes and scooted in, allowing him to fluff the sheets over her. She had to admit, the bed was nice.

~~~

The house had been quiet for a few hours and Elaine felt like she was going stir crazy. She slid herself out of the bed and began looking closer around the room. The furniture seemed unused, and if the fresh scent of laundry detergent was anything to go off of, Gibbs had probably retrieved her fresh sheets and blankets for the bed. There were no paintings or pictures on the walls, and while the decorations and furnishings were scarce they all held the signs of being homemade. Some from mismatched woods, others with intricate carvings. Elaine ran her hand over the dresser and slid open the top drawer. An assortment of linens, seemingly random. She closed the drawer and walked to the door, slowly turning the handle and cracking the door open with nary a squeak.

“Well oiled,” Elaine noted as she peeked down the hall. There were a few other doors, but what interested Elaine was the staircase down at the end of the hall. She padded down them quickly to be met with a much more open space. It was more decorated, the ghost of a woman’s touch fleeting in the details. A stack of coasters here, a small lamp there. Elaine smiled as she moved around the living space. It was clean, if not a little dated. There were books around the fireplace and a large TV hanging over the hearth. The leather couch was particularly worn on one cushion. The coffee table in front of it had a ring from a cup being placed over and over again. Elaine could imagine Gibbs sitting to watch TV in the same place every night, setting his cup on the edge of the coffee table.

While the space was inviting, it felt lonely. Like the ghost of Jethro would occasionally pass through the space, a specter in his own home. 

Elaine’s ears picked up a small scratching sound coming from an open door. She peeked through, finding the entrance to a basement. The scratching echoes through the cement room, a small amount of light being let in from the high windows. She approached the railing and peeked over, finding the boning of a wooden boat, and Gibbs dutifully sanding at one of the timber boards. The railing creaked under her weight.

“You should be laying down,” Gibbs said, the sanding stopped as he glanced up at her. Elaine simply shrugged and padded down the wooden stairs. Gibbs rolled his eyes and resumed his work.

“You build boats?” Elaine asked. Gibbs just nodded towards the wooden structure, “You know they make those automatic now.”

“Don’t use power tools,” Gibbs dusted the piece he was working on and resumed sanding.

“Really? None?” Elaine meandered to the workbench and took in the neatly organized tools. A series of manual drills, chisels, hammers, sanding blocks, and other woodworking tools Elaine didn’t recognize.

“Nope.”

Elaine peeked into his mug to find an amber liquid, she lifted it to her nose and sniffed. The scent burned in her nose and she cougehed, “bourbon?”

“It’s an acquired taste,” Gibbs said.

“That’s code for, ‘it’s gross until you get used to it’,” Elaine gave him a cheeky grin over her shoulder as she continued looking around the basement, “Got anymore sandpaper?”

“You should be resting, Dr. Wright,” Gibbs turned to her.

“I’m bored and something deep inside me tells me that I can handle some sandpaper after bumping my head,” Elaine leaned back against the workbench. Gibbs let out a sigh and held the sandpaper out to her. She grinned and took it, stepping around him and approaching the boat. She began sanding side to side and gibbs quickly stopped her, placing his hand firmly over hers and then guiding it up and down.

“With the grain of the wood,” He said. Elaine swallowed and peeked at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Right,” She nodded. His hand pulled away as he returned to the workbench.

Elaine spent the rest of the day practically tailing Gibbs until he placed a book firmly in her hands and had her sit down on the couch with an order to rest for the remainder of the day. It wasn’t long until she fell asleep.

~~~

Gibbs peeked out of the kitchen to find Elaine curled up on the couch. She laid in the worn spot he usually sat in. He sighed and shook his head. He grabbed a blanket from the closet and flicked it open. He laid it over Elaine and tucked it softly around her. He took the book from her hands and noted the page she was on before returning it to its place on the shelf.

His eyes flicked over to the front door when it creaked open. In the threshold stood Ducky, his coat draped over one arm and his briefcase in the other.

“I believe you are housing a little duckling, I’m here to take her home.”

(enjoyed it? Let me know what scenarios/episodes you want to see from Elaine and Gibbs next!)

[wroteclassicaly]

Steve Harrington would wake you up on Mother’s Day by feather light kisses along your shoulder blade and neck, across your cheeks and the rest of your face, nuzzling, inhaling. His five o’clock shadow would tickle your flesh in electrifying prickles. He’s here, he’s warm. He smells like bacon grease and laundry detergent, with a hint of baby Harrington’s favorite baby food this month — banana apple pear. He would cook you breakfast in bed, serve it, then dive into his breakfast between your legs. It’s all about you and what you went through to give him his little boy or girl — or both.

There’s flowers, pancake and syrup kisses, a homemade gift of a handprint that Steve had helped the toddler with (you wanna melt when you imagine your baby’s hand in your husband’s much larger one, making one of your gifts) . Then there is lounging out on the picnic blanket and watching your little baby stumble on chubby legs as they attempt to walk back and forth between you and Steve, their toes in the grass. You spend a majority of the day with your baby, that is until dinner with yours and Steve’s mom (typical exchanges), and he’s surprised you by arranging for your mom to take the baby for the rest of the night, so that he can focus on you.

That’s when the wine comes out and the pizza you and Steve made together, fills your bellies. He dances slowly to some records with you, singing and kissing along your jawline, mumbling his love and appreciation. And later that night when he lays you down in bed, he worships every stretch mark and dent you bore from having the baby. You’ve never been more beautiful to him.

And hey, if you’re not already pregnant, he wouldn’t be opposed to trying for another today…

[moonsofmachinery]

THE AI BROTHERS!!! AI as in . they were based off of some of those stupid google search ai stuffs. YEAH.

G*S -> Gasoline Infused Spaghetti (He/She) Home -> Homemade Liquid Laundry Detergent (He/It)

More... They're soo family.

[northbirdblog]

Homemade Laundry Soap

Try making some of this Homemade Laundry Soap! It's easy to make, using natural ingredients, and gentle on sensitive skin!

[divinity-in-chaos]

Mycroft headcanons

I just need to get these out of my system. If anyone has anything to add, pls do!! I love to hear your thoughts 🥰 slight hints to mystrade!

Warning: this will include themes of depression, eating disorders and self-harm. I will put them at the end, so if you aren’t here for that, just skip past ❤️

He absolutely hates the summer. This guy is a winter baby. The cold weather is a bother but at least he doesn’t sweat through his suits in the snow.

Will never admit it, but his mother’s homemade pie is his favourite comfort food. He’s tried a thousand times to bake it, following the recipe exactly, but he can never get it just right.

The first time he held Sherlock, he cried.

(This is the one of the only times he’s cried in front of his parents.)

Mycroft can’t stand jazz music. He does not understand it at all.

If he had to have a pet, it would be a cat. Preferably one without any fur.

Is actually allergic to certain laundry detergents- I like to think Sherlock is too. They just have sensitive skin.

Watches Barbie movies to unwind when he gets overwhelmed and burnt out. Will not admit this even if it were to save his life.

Every autumn, he re-watches Over The Garden Wall with a glass of wine. The whole show in one sitting, I might add.

Is a daddy’s boy. Sherlock is mummy’s boy.

Would love to have a daughter, but the trauma of taking care of Eurus and Sherlock has convinced him he’s not suitable to be a father. His family genes also has a massive play in that- what if it was a case of Eurus again? Nope, Mycroft would rather be lonely.

Speaking of lonely- I like to think after TFP, Sherlock starts setting him up with people and at first Mycroft complains, but then eventually he just gives in and lets Sherlock do what he wants. Coincidentally, this is just around the time Sherlock starts setting him up with Lestrade. Isn’t that strange? 👀

Came out to his parents during lunch one day, it was very casual.

(Sherlock has never come out, he doesn’t feel like he has to follow that tradition)

His favourite colour is green.

Has a framed photo of himself, Eurus and Sherlock as kids which he keeps in his bedroom. Not on display, but in his bedside drawer (in the middle drawer)

Depressive themes now:

Has been struggling with depression and ED’s since he was quite young.

He has a particular routine of binge eating and then purging.

This is in partly Mrs Holmes fault when she started insisting he diet, a little too much. Not harshly, just unaware of the consequences.

Although it’s mainly depression causing it, along with a childhood of being bullied and mocked by peers.

Attempted suicide at 16. This was the second and last time Mr and Mrs Holmes saw him cry. It wasn’t out of sadness or embarrassment, it was frustration that he had failed.

Sherlock’s reaction to his attempt is the sole reason he hasn’t tried again.

Has SH scars on his stomach.

[loveletters2myself]

look clean, smell clean, feel clean 🫧🪽🕯️✨🤍

double cleanse your body! wash first with a bar soap, preferably with a wash cloth or wash glove to help with exfoliating all the dirt and sweat from the day. and replace your cloths every day. that’s why i recommend them more than using a regular loofah. those things build up so much bacteria, you’re better off using something you can wash every day. silicone brushes are great too, but do replace them after a few months. scrub well, everywhere. don’t forget neglected areas such as behind the ears, between finger & toes, belly button, etc. finish off with a body wash.

for the lady bits, keep it simple with unscented bar soap only. washing only your vulva. you want to make sure you’re cleansing between all the folds and around (and yes i know, never inside). as controversial as it is, water is not enough. sorry, argue with yourself.

hydrosilk trimstyle razor is a fav for your bikini area. billie razors are also great.

double shampoo your scalp. you’ll notice a difference. add a scalp massager into the mix!

on hair wash days, don’t forget to also wash/disinfect your hair brushes.

you can make a homemade body scrub with honey + brown sugar. lips too! or just use a exfoliating glove.

change your bedsheets weekly!!!

dry brush your body before stepping into your shower. do a few body lymphatic massages after too with a wooden body massager.

you should be brushing your teeth two times a day. flossing as well. don’t forget to give your tongue a clean. invest in a tongue scraper. and mouthwash! therabreath is my fav brand. teeth whiten every 6 months or so, depending on if needed or not. also replace your tooth brushes/heads often as recommended (every 3-4 months).

moisturize everywhere after every shower/bath. i love to lather with both body oil & lotion. don’t forget the neglected areas such as your hands, feet, elbows, etc.

i’m a two deodorant kind of girl. it’s definitely not necessary to use two, but as someone who loves smelling clean, i use both stick & spray.

as repetitive as it sounds, what you eat plays a major part in your overall scent. make sure you’re fuelling your body with good foods. hydration is also important.

find a signature perfume that suits your skin’s ph level. even better if you find a body lotion of that same scent or similar, enhances the smell! extra tip, spray some on your comb before brushing out your hair.

use safe feminine wipes for bathroom use, rael is a great brand for wipes + pads. even better, use a peri bottle.

something i think a lot of people forget to mention, stay on top of your laundry. attitude laundry detergent is great but any works fine. i also like using baking soda or vinegar to remove any odours, especially for my towels. keep small organza bags with lavender inside your closet/drawers to keep the freshness (i’ve seen people also use scent beads but i don’t use those personally). fold them as soon as they’re dry and put it away to avoid wrinkly clothes. spot treat your stains as soon as possible.

you don’t need to get a manicure all the time. however, do maintain your nails by trimming them often, cuticle oiling and scrubbing underneath nails with a small brush in the shower.

build a skincare routine that works for your skin type. keep it minimal, you don’t need an excessive amount of products. cleanser, exfoliant, serum or moisturizer is more than enough, with the occasional spot treatment & mask. not necessary, but i also like shaving my face with a face razor. definitely not something for everyone, as some do claim it makes them break out! so keep that in mind. gua shua your face for lymphatic drainage and overall skin glow.

keep your home clean. a lot of people don’t realize that you can bring around lingering odours from your home onto you.

also, ladies, pay attention to the men you’re being intimate with. make sure they practice good hygiene themselves (this applies for everyone really!). after intimacy, make sure to clean yourself off well too. your ph will thank you. if you’re concerned that your ph levels are off, speak with your gyno/doctor!

note that these tips aren’t for everyone and to follow with your discretion. 🫶🏻

[comfortabletextiles]

I thought, that I should probably look at how much weight the fleece lost, after cleaning. And also give a soft of report about the amount of water and energy used, and his clean it got.

Under the cut, because looooooong

Roughly 100g raw fleece, cleaned with unicorn power scour made 75,29g of fiber

Very clean, zero amount of oil or lanolin can be feeled, smells like wool and a but like the power scour. Doesn't feel felted. The ends are a tad yellow

Recourses: Used 2 liters if the hottest available tabwater (47°C), 3,8g of unicorn power scour and roughly 8 liter of hot water to rinse (around 38°C-40°C).

Work: let it soak and rinse it out. Very easy, not much Equipment or brain power needed

Roughly 100g raw fleece, cleaned with homemade chestnut detergent made 77,50g of fiber

Still dirt left, we'll see how it cleans out while combing and caring, there seems to be a minimal amount of lanolin left, but it's so little I am not Shure. Ends are almost brown. Also smells kind of bad

Recourses: 5 chestnuts peeled and cut, simmered with 300ml for 15 minutes, 2l of my hottest tab water, around 8 liters for rinsing.

Work: collecting, Peeling and cutten the chestnuts, then soaking and rinsing the wool.

Roughly 100g raw fleece, cleaned with potash made 79,95g of fiber

Very clean, no traces of oil or lanolin. Smells like clean wool, ends very compacted still, also the most felted from all the projects (not badly felted though)

Recourses: 60g potash (had to order it online, not even the alternative apothecary had it), 3 liter of cold water to rinse it beforehand, 2 liter of hot water to simmer it, something to simmer the wool in and 6 liter to rinse

Work: the most workintens process, aquire the potash, rinse the wool, simmer it (but not to hot, so you need something to monitor the temperature) rinse it again... but you can reuse the potash water lots. So good if you want to clean lots of wool, but I think it's also the one where you can make the most mistakes...

Roughly 50g raw fleece, cleaned with dish soap made 39,67g of fiber

No lanolin left, smells clean, not too yellow, but some dirt was left. Not felted

Recourses: around a table spoon of dish soap, 2 liter of hot tabwater, 4 liter of tabwater to rinse

Work: soak and rinse very easy

Roughly 50g raw fleece, cleaned with wool fiber detergent made 38,85g of fiber

Very clean, almost now yellowijg, smells like wool and hint of the detergent we use, not felted

Recourses: 60ml (one serving?) Of wool laundry detergent, 2 liter of hot tab water and 6 liter to rinse

Work: soak and rinse again

Now to the most Interesting method imo!

The suint fermentation

Roughly 50g raw fleece, cleaned with fermentating it in destilled water made 40,31g of fiber

Very clean, despite some lanolin left, the whitest of them all, not felted very soft, smells the most like wool (it's a bit dirty because I dropped it on the balcony floor)

Recourses: well I bouth a black bucket with a lid So I can do it without smell attacking my neighbors, 2 liter of destilled water (or rain water, but I can't really collect that) 4 liter to rinse (same temperature as the suint bath

Work: fill the bucket with water and wool. Then wait, rinse and let it dry in the sun (so it goes faster) I didn't mind the smell to much. You mostly smell it when you open the bucket and while rinsing, after that it vanished very fast. Needed the least amount of energy.

Roughly 50g raw fleece, cleaned with fermentating it in hard tab water made 40,66g of fiber

A bit more lanolin that the destilled water. Not Shure if that is due to the harder water or that the weather got colder and I had to stop. Very soft to the touch. A bit more yellow in the tips than the destilled water and smells like wool but in an unpleasant way (not really bad, but also nothing I want to shove my nose into)

Recourses: same as destilled water but ran water

Work: also same as destilled water

All in all, I loved the fermentation the most, also I heard that you can store the bath over a year, so you can make it in time warm season and just store it for the next?? Very cool. Feels raw in the same way that spinning the locks without combing or carding. 10/10 also very recourses friendly, doesn't take lots of energy (body, brain and electric) and the least amount of work (the most work I had with it was setting up my very safe totally not dangerous way of drying it)

My least favorite was the potash, it's lots of extra steps like: getting everything out of storage to simmer it, get some potash (that you'll need lots of) let it simmer for 8 minutes, let it rest for 8 and then rinse! If you have a dedicated space for it, it could be very easy, but I don't have that space 😬

Unicorn power scour is also good. Got it very clean, was very easy and no unpleasant smells, also very fast.

[blue-banditt]

i use this specific detergent bc it smells like how my best friend did when we were kids, I'm pretty sure her mom used it when she did laundry. I still drink out of a mug that I bought matching with my ex gf from middle school, I haven't talked to her since we broke up that summer, she has a different name now. I wash my pans straight off the burner even though everyone says it's bad because that's how my dad taught me. Everytime I make kraft Mac n cheese I remember the first time my mom taught me how to use the stove when I was 10. I discovered a new recipe to make it taste better, but I still make it the same way she taught me, when I miss her. The only reason I watch studio Ghibli movies is because me and my friend used to watch it when I would have sleepovers at my house; My Neighbor Totoro feels like her low lit kitchen and smells like popcorn and homemade rice krispie treats. My vinyl player is the same one I saw at someone's house in 6th grade— she had a whole collection of MCR records; I went home that night and started listening to my chem for the first time. Neon lights remind me of the ones she had at a sleepover that I left at 3 am while everyone was asleep. When I can't sleep I turn on flatsound, because that's what I listened to every night when I suffered from chronic trauma induced insomnia when I was a kid. When I make music I still get to see the cracks my mother left on my acoustic guitar when she tried to break it on the concrete in a fit of anger. When I drink spiced bourbon I remember the third time I ever got wasted, at night, in a bedroom, with two of my best friends, I was 14; we spent the night talking about our SH and trauma dumping until we passed out. Sunflowers remind me of calming someone I loved down from a panic attack when she learned she was being cheated on. All this happened so long ago and it all still affects me to this day, I'm a collage of everyone I've ever loved and every way in which they broke me.